Nearly seven weeks after the Daily Mail exposed photographs of Bryon Noem posing with prosthetic breasts and detailed his alleged fixation on OnlyFans models, the husband of former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem allegedly sent a dominatrix a text message that read, "I've been a really bad boy." The message, dated May 17, suggests the public humiliation that upended his wife's career did nothing to change his conduct.
That is the claim of Shy Sotomayor, a dominatrix who goes by "Crystal" and who says she carried on a years-long online relationship with Bryon Noem. Sotomayor made the allegation on the podcast "UNCLOSETED with Spencer Macnaughton," published by Uncloseted Media. The New York Post reported that Bryon did not respond to its request for comment.
If Sotomayor's account is accurate, the timeline is damning, not because of anyone's private struggles, but because of what it says about judgment, accountability, and the cost imposed on a family that was already reeling.
Sotomayor told the podcast that she received the "I've been a really bad boy" text from Bryon on May 17, more than a month after his fetish for what tabloids called "bimbofication" had become a national story. She said Bryon then followed up by contacting her on WhatsApp.
Her response, she said, was blunt:
"You obviously are very sick. You need help."
Sotomayor described Bryon as a "loose cannon" and offered two possible explanations for his continued outreach. She told the podcast host:
"He either doesn't know when to quit... or this is a real issue for him."
Reports had already surfaced that Bryon entered a sex rehab program in January, months before the Daily Mail story went public. If that is true, the May 17 message would have come after he had already sought treatment, raising questions about whether the program had any effect at all.
The financial dimension adds another layer. Sotomayor estimated that Bryon spent up to $45,000 on her over nine years. She also said she sent him a PayPal invoice for $4,500 she alleged he still owed for services. Whether that invoice was ever paid remains unclear.
Sotomayor's account paints a picture of a man who was repeatedly warned about the risks of exposure and shrugged them off. She described conversations in which she raised the possibility of being discovered, particularly because Bryon had discussed meeting in person.
"Any time I talked to him and was like, 'Hey, you know, people could find us out,' you know, because he was talking about meeting in person... He was like, 'I don't care.'"
She added flatly: "He just did not care about the consequences."
That indifference, if real, carried consequences far beyond Bryon's own reputation. His wife was serving as Homeland Security Secretary when the scandal broke. A prior report on the fallout noted that the revelations drew public reaction at the highest levels of government.
In March, a representative for Kristi Noem said the former secretary was "devastated" and "blindsided" by the report. Those words suggest she had no advance knowledge of what the Daily Mail was about to publish, and no idea about the scope of her husband's alleged double life.
Sotomayor's claims did not begin with this podcast appearance. Earlier reporting by the New York Post detailed explicit private messages between Bryon and Sotomayor, obtained by the Daily Mail. Those messages showed Bryon expressing desires to transition, fantasizing about leaving his family, and encouraging Sotomayor to demean his wife and children. The exchanges reportedly began in 2016, paused around 2020, and resumed in 2025.
In one exchange, Sotomayor told Bryon, "I think you'd make a great woman." He responded: "I would have to agree with you. Hair removal. Huge fake tits. A** implants. Hormones."
Sotomayor said she made tens of thousands of dollars from phone conversations with Bryon over the course of the relationship. The financial trail, which included millions in household debt accumulated before the fetish spending became public, raises its own set of questions about where the money came from and who knew about it.
Other women have come forward with similar accounts. A webcam model alleged that Bryon paid $25 a minute for explicit chats. An OnlyFans model claimed he bankrolled her lifestyle and even discussed marriage.
One of Sotomayor's most striking claims involves a phone conversation she says she had with Bryon in January. During the call, she said, she suddenly heard a woman's voice in the background.
"It was a normal conversation, and all I hear is, 'Who are you talking to?'"
Sotomayor said she immediately recognized the voice as female: "And I was just like, that's a woman." She did not explicitly identify the voice as Kristi Noem's, but the implication was clear in context.
If the January call happened while Bryon was already enrolled in a sex rehab program, as referenced reports suggest, it would mean he was actively communicating with a dominatrix during or around the time he was supposedly seeking help. That is a detail that deserves scrutiny, not from gossip columnists, but from anyone who cares about whether public figures and their families are held to the same standards they impose on others.
Bryon Noem has not publicly responded to any of Sotomayor's specific allegations. The Post noted he did not respond to its request for comment. No screenshots or documentation of the May 17 text have been publicly released, meaning the claim rests entirely on Sotomayor's word.
It is also unclear whether the $4,500 PayPal invoice was ever acknowledged or paid. The nature of the services it covered has not been specified. And while earlier coverage identified Sotomayor as the woman at the center of the allegations, her credibility as a sole source on the May 17 message has not been independently corroborated.
The question of when Kristi Noem left her position as DHS Secretary, and whether the scandal played a role, also remains unaddressed in the available reporting. The Post refers to her as "former" Homeland Security Secretary without elaboration.
None of this is about policing anyone's private life for sport. But when a senior government official's household is carrying millions in debt, her husband is allegedly funneling tens of thousands of dollars to sex workers over nearly a decade, and the behavior apparently continues even after it becomes front-page news, the public has a right to ask hard questions.
The pattern Sotomayor describes, years of contact, escalating financial commitments, open indifference to discovery, and continued outreach after public exposure, is not the profile of a one-time lapse. It is the profile of someone who believed consequences were for other people.
Kristi Noem served in a role that demanded trust, discipline, and judgment. Whether or not she knew the full scope of what was happening in her own household, the fallout landed on her desk, and on the taxpayers who expected their Homeland Security Secretary to be focused on the border, not managing a tabloid crisis.
When someone texts a dominatrix "I've been a really bad boy" seven weeks after the whole country saw the photos, the problem isn't the scandal. It's the total absence of shame.
