Vice President JD Vance made some rather odd comments while spending some time with the troops on Thanksgiving Day.
After serving troops their holiday meal, assisted by his children, he challenged anyone who likes turkey to defend their position.
Vance may be a redneck, but he is a West Virginia redneck, not a southern redneck, and we love our turkey!
Now, before I get into this, please understand I am just having some fun with our vice president, educating him on the fact that we are obsessed with turkey, which he clearly does not believe is the case.
Mr. Vice President, if you are reading this, consider it an educational tool.
First, there is no doubt, and I mean none, that a ton of turkey is sold in this country in the form of lunchmeat. It is regularly listed among the top deli meats, and it is on just about every “healthy” menu on the planet.
And yes, there are plenty of options, including smoked and Cajun turkey, at every deli you walk into.
Now, before I get into my main complaint, let’s take a quick look at Vance’s blasphemous comments. While talking to the troops, he stated, “Think about turkey. Who really likes … be honest with yourself, who really likes turkey? You are all full of s—. Everybody who raised your hands.”
He continued, “Here’s how I know that every single one of you who raised your hand is lying to me. How many times do you roast an 18-pound turkey just randomly? Just you know, a nice summer afternoon, we’re going to go get an 18-pound turkey.”
He then added, “Nobody does it because turkey doesn’t actually taste that good. But on Thanksgiving, one of the most American holiday … we’re going to cook a turkey by God, because that’s what Americans do. We cook this gigantic American bird and we do all kinds of crazy things to make it taste good.”
I don't want to take a shot at Mrs. Vance here, but if our vice president needs to do all kinds of "crazy things" to his turkey to make it palatable, I would be more than happy to give her a cooking lesson.
Mr. Vice President, in Texas, we love our turkey. And whether we head out for BBQ or are putting it on our smoker, turkey is on the menu.
When it’s done right, smoked turkey just about liquifies in your mouth and is, by far, one of my favorite meats to put on my plate.
Anthony Bourdain once suggested that BBQ was a great place to start for “world peace.” Steven Raichlen also once stated, "Turkey is one of those meats that just begs for the soulful tang of woodsmoke." I could not agree more. When I had cut into my turkey this Thanksgiving, I am pretty sure I heard some angels singing.
For me, the best turkey is a smoked turkey with a side of QQB for dipping. I don’t want it to overwhelm the meat, but just enough to give it some punch. And yes, I have no problem eating it on its own. So, Mr. Vice President, come on down to Texas, and we will either make you a turkey or take you out for some of the best BBQ you have ever had. Just, please, don’t blaspheme that bird ever again!
